Our World has Somehow Shifted

Something has shifted but I can't say when it happened or how. It was imperceptible. One day, people would ask how we were doing and I would say, "We are OK" - it felt more like, "We are muddling through this" or even "We will survive this." And then BOOM, one morning I'm asking Kevin - "How do you live in paradise one day and then go back to NOT living in paradise?"

***Disclosure - when I say that we are living in paradise, that does NOT mean that our life is perfect. Our kids still fight. Some deal with anxiety. Homework is still frustrating. We miss our friends and family. The budget is tight. Our car is constantly in the shop. Navigating teens and phones continues to be a challenge. The kids still get frustrated with the language. Kevin and I get annoyed with each other. There are still tears. We NEVER
know what to make for dinner. You know, normal stuff.

But here I sit, on the 23rd of January, kind of in a middle spot. We aren't quite halfway through our time here. We still don't have a date for going back to Minnesota. We know it will be June or July, we just have to figure out the end of the school year here and what that looks like.
I spent the first few months here really just amping myself up to make it through the day to day in a new country. It was the constant questioning about "how to do daily activities, where do we get the things we need, where do we go if we have a medical emergency, what are these activities at school and who do I pay for them, what exactly are the rules of traffic here, who will be my friend, why does the meat smell like that, why does the milk taste like that, when can we finally feel "at home" and, why did we do this again?"

My view on Jan 23

Now that we are at the top of the hill, things feel so different. We are thriving. We have a routine, the kids have some friends, we have neighbors we love, we have a mechanic (we wish we didn't know HIM so well), we have a pediatrician, we know where to sometimes find Goldfish and chocolate chips. It all feels familiar. The weather is beautiful. I LOVE the lush green and blue sky. I love the clear blue waters and the sound of the waves. (If you know me, you know that winters are hard for me. I'm not a fan of cold and snow - especially the stuff that hits Feb-May). We are settled and we are happy. Odin even said this morning, "I'm excited to go to school today. It doesn't feel like a prison anymore." Um, what?

I think part of the shift happened because of our "Christmas surprise".
Our big Christmas surprise was an unexpected and very quick trip to Chicago. We were all set to head to Caye Caulker in Belize over break. Belize was on our bucket list for this year and it's only a few hours south of where we live. It also checked off an important practical mark on our calendar and that was to get new tourist cards. In Mexico, if you are on a tourist visa, the longest amount of time you can stay in the country is 180 days...it can be less, it depends on the border agent who you talk to when you enter the country. So, our 180 days was going to be up on February 4th. Since the kids had 3 weeks off, we thought it was the perfect time to check these two things off, do some snorkeling and explore Belize. WELL, I was telling a friend, who has quite a bit of experience with immigration, about our plans over lunch and she suggested that I run it by a friend of hers who works a lot with immigration. I did, and this woman told me that the most we would get coming back into Mexico at that point of entry from Belize was 7 days. For some reason, they have cracked down and won't give people 180 days anymore. This was Friday, Dec. 27. By Saturday, the 28th, Kevin was working on cancelling our hotel reservations in Belize while I was online looking for the cheapest airline tickets to anywhere else in the world. Chicago was, by far, the best deal and at 4:00 am Monday, Dec. 30th we were on our way to the Cancun airport.
Kevin and I were both kind of sick about the whole thing. The kids were excited to go to the USA but we were both frustrated to spend our travel money on going to Chicago, a city that we love, but one we can get to anytime in our car from Northfield. I was also pretty crabby about being in the cold at all this winter. I have been reveling in the sunshine and constant warmth.

Making the best of Chicago

We appreciated the loaned winter wear from our neighbors here and from the Vogen family who so graciously welcomed us into their home. We had a lovely, relaxing time with our dear and generous friends playing games, catching up, sharing meals and playing in the snow. We also were thrilled to have the fortune of spending some time with the Spohr family who just happened to be in the area. It felt great to peruse the aisles of Target, eat some of our favorite foods, drink cold milk, flush our toilet paper in the toilet and drink water out of the tap. Such luxuries.

This little window back into the life that we are more accustomed to felt so strange. I felt as if I were woken out of a dream that I wasn't finished with yet. The gift was the perspective it gave. It really made us do some reflecting and some looking forward. Are we getting out of this experience all that we had hoped? What things do we want to accomplish in the next six months that we haven't done yet? How will it feel to go back to Northfield, to jump back into the life we have taken a break from? What are we going to do with all of the junk in our basement? What things are we going to change when we get home so that we are able to live a life that is less pressured, less stressed, where we get more sleep, listen more to each other, make sure that we are finding ways to refuel, to fill our own cups and stay physically and mentally healthy? What am I going to do for a JOB?!?!

My beautiful friend, Sarah and her husband

Last week, the world lost a ray of sunshine. My friend, Sarah Moyer, younger than me and mom of four died suddenly and unexpectedly in Northfield. It was shocking and heartbreaking. She was a beautiful soul. She made a difference in the lives of so many and it was simply by letting her light shine. She was a hugger and wore a big smile. When she saw you, you felt like you were someone special. She impacted so many lives in such a positive way. We watched her funeral on Youtube. There was a huge crowd from all over the States, even on one of the stormiest days of the year. We sat and listened to people share about the beautiful way she was, how she made them feel, what she did for others, how she changed the trajectory of so many people's day by how she greeted them in the morning. (She worked at an elementary school). She has really made me think. First of all, did she KNOW how well she was loved by SO MANY PEOPLE? Did she know that just by being Sarah, she made the world a better place? I know that she knows now, but it makes me think that I should let people know the impact they have while I have the chance. It also makes me think about my friend, Pastor Marsh Drege who has always said, "Do your gifts." That phrase has always frustrated me because I have felt like I really need to dig deep and search for those gifts and pick exactly the right ones to work on and to mold so that I can share them with the world. Losing Sarah, it makes me realize that "Doing your gifts" means being you, your best you. Shining your light, sharing your joys. It doesn't have to be so complicated. Just be you.

Sarah's legacy really has my wheels turning as this year has been a time for me to have some space and figure out my next steps in my life. One day at a time, shining brightly. I will just keep praying that I will know tomorrow what to do tomorrow. I will keep learning. I will keep growing. I will keep being my best self.

Blessings to you all from Mexico,
Tricia