Livin' the Dream

                            "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened" - Dr. Suess

El Zocalo - Mexico City

Cenote - Valladolid

"Livin' the Dream" has been the theme of our marriage, our life together and it's probably not why you think. Kevin and I talked a lot about kids when we were dating and engaged. There was no doubt that we wanted to have children, and I wanted a lot of them, but we also started later in life and didn't know what that meant for being able to grow a family. Well, it turned out that it was NOT EASY! I won't go into great detail, but every child in our family is a true miracle. We struggled with every pregnancy and lost a lot of early term babies. We spent years in and out of fertility clinics and years with our sole focus being getting pregnant and staying pregnant. The bible verse "For this child I have prayed" 1Samuel 1:27 strikes a chord with us. We were on our knees for the good part of a decade. All of this said, our dream together was to have the family that we have now. So often, we remind each other with a wink and three words "Livin' the dream!". Sometimes in the chaos and the tantrums and the sleepless nights we forget how much we struggled to get right where we are today.

That little phrase has morphed from it's original meaning to cover anything wonderful that comes into our lives, like taking our kids somewhere and they behave and are charming, "Livin' the dream, Babe" but it also is a little "joke" sprinkled with sarcasm when things don't go as planned, like driving our Camo car in Mexico.

"Livin' the Dream"

But, even before we started trying to create a family, it was a joint dream of ours to spend, at least, a year abroad. We are both travelers and have both loved our experiences living in other cultures. We wanted to do that together. And THAT dream did come true this year but with an unexpected twist.

We have been back in Northfield for awhile and I am just now able to start processing the last seven weeks. I've had a lot of people ask how we are doing and it's been difficult getting myself to sit down and write about it because it's been different for everyone. I knew that coming home from this adventure was going to be a challenge for so many reasons. I had actually started thinking about what reentry into our Minnesota lives would look like for July before COVID19 registered as something that would have such an effect on us (and everyone else). Never did we imagine that it would change the trajectory of our year in Mexico.

Packed up in a flurry in the nine suitcases we came with.

Mixed feelings at the airport.

We arrived safely.

Just to back up a bit, in March in Mexico, we obviously heard about COVID19. We were aware of the severity of it, we just didn't have the 24/7 news coverage that is so common in the USA. We read of friends and relatives on social media cancelling trips and heard of Europe starting to shut down but it seemed so far away. It really didn't start to hit us until the 12th of March. We had friends coming from Minnesota to stay at a resort near us. They called that morning and said, "We aren't getting on the plane. We need to stay home." Then we heard that the NBA had suspended it season, travel had halted to the USA from Europe, Disney World had closed, etc. The seriousness of the whole thing started to seep in. On the 13th of March, we left for the airport to head for a long weekend to Mexico City. We, of course, questioned whether we should go, but the virus really hadn't hit Mexico yet and we knew it was, probably our last chance. So we went. We will always be grateful we spent those four days in the heart of Mexico. But by the time we left there, we were feeling uneasy. While waiting for our flight back to Cancun, I sent an text to our landlords in Playa about the possibility of getting out of our rental contract. I also sent one to the school to see about getting their records (they had the kid's original birth certificates). That was on Monday. By Wednesday morning, we were buying tickets to fly to Minnesota. By Sunday afternoon of that week, we were in Minnesota. It happened so unexpectedly and so fast. We didn't have time to say goodbye. We threw things in suitcases, gave things away and left our car still not working at the mechanic's. It was messy and a complete whirlwind.

So, here we are. We are staying at Ina and Iver's house in Northfield which is just a couple of blocks from our own home. They have graciously let us stay here and they have been staying at their home in Redwood Falls. Its looking like we will be able to get into our house around June 15th.

Thankful for the warm welcome from friends and family.

We are thankful to be safe and healthy. We are thankful to both still have our jobs. We are thankful to be in a home that is familiar to us. We are thankful that we could get our bikes out of our shed and can ride every day (if it's not snowing). We are thankful to be near family and friends whose faces we can see and have a chat across the driveway. We are just anxious to feel settled and back in our own home.

Shooting lots of hoops.

Hooray! A yard with a basketball court.

A hike near our home.

Beautiful downtown Northfield in spring.

I think wistfully of the board games, building sets, puzzles, train sets, cars and activities buried in the store room in our basement just blocks away. I also think of the cold weather clothes that are in that same storeroom. We each have about three outfits for cold weather that we took along to Mexico knowing we wanted to travel a bit and that parts of Mexico aren't tropical like where we were living. Yet, we have made do and have all that we need. Thank goodness for Target easy access pants and sisters who have loaned us toys and games and puzzles. I am so proud that I did think to leave our coats, boots and snow pants in my sister's basement just in case we had to come back for an emergency or the birth of a nephew. Little did I know how useful that would come in. Unfortunately we have needed those coats, boots, and snow pants more than we would like at this time of year.

Easter "fun" in the snow.

As for school, we very luckily came home the week that Northfield was on spring break. We took that time to get settled in and then distance learning in our district started that next week. We feel very fortunate that we had time to get the kids re enrolled in school, get all of their passwords figured out and they started up with the rest of the kids in the district. School has gone quite smoothly, thanks to amazing teachers and district employees.

Distance Learning and working.

So, how are we doing? It's really difficult to pick that apart. I mean, how is THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD doing right now? It's nearly impossible to decipher our feelings about coming home from the disappointment of leaving early, from arriving and being quarantined, from being in this along with the rest of the world.

Odin, Soren and Greta were really excited to come home. They all had good experiences in Mexico and each of them would say that they made wonderful memories and that our life there was OK but they missed their friends and their schools and their routines.

Kevin, Solvei and I have felt differently. We were all very disappointed to leave and felt like we were cheated. It stings to think of how hard we worked to make this year away a reality. I think it hit me when we went to buy a van about a month after getting home. We were talking to the salesmen and I thought "UGH! We were just here trying to SELL our cars." and it brought back all the memories of the months of planning and logistics to get there. I struggle with saying these things though because I feel guilty about being sad, angry and disappointed. I feel guilty because I know that people are dying, graduates are missing out on important milestones, my niece, Emma and her fiance Matt are having a modified wedding, my friend's brother died and they struggle with how to lay him to rest. So, our situation feels more trivial, like I should buck up and look on the bright side. We are safe, we are healthy, we have food and a cozy place to live. I AM grateful for all of those things but I also know that I need to acknowledge that disappointment and frustration that is sitting there making my stomach ache.

What I hold on to is that we DID IT!! We actually did it. We made our 20 year old dream come true. We planned, we saved, we purged and we took that huge leap. That feels amazing and that is something that can never be taken away from us. We look at our photos and talk about all of our extraordinary experiences; the people we met, the beauty we saw, the culture we were surrounded by,  the struggles we endured, the food we ate, the heat, the cool of the ocean and the cenotes and pools.  We have come back from our adventure with amazing memories... both good and bad, a new perspective on the way we live, more Spanish skills, a world view, new friends, more resilience, we are less picky eaters and more willing to try new things. Most importantly, a bond built on this amazing shared experience with this family that we worked so hard to build. What a dream we have lived together. "Because in the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take." We have no regrets. We took the chance and it will always be a part of our story, of who we are. Truly, living the dream.

Blessings,