"Life begins at the end of your comfort zone"

I wasn't planning to write a post for awhile but you all have been so kind and caring about how school went for the kids, I thought it was worth writing about. 

So, after I dropped the kids off yesterday, this is what I wrote:

Oh my. Here I am, sitting in our condo....by myself. I don't really know what to do, or how to feel. These last few weeks have been such a roller coaster. Up until now, it seemed like we were on a vacation (I can't speak for Kevin because he is starting his third week of working remotely - so not so much a vacation). But today, driving the kids to school and dropping them off at a place that felt so unfamiliar...so foreign made it feel real. This is it. Here we are. Now what...?

Then I just left it there....
I tried to keep busy all day, running around town trying to find the ingredients for chocolate chip cookies, doing some laundry, etc but I had a nervous feeling all day long...What have we just done? We dumped these kids off in a place that we don't know, with a bunch of strangers, in a foreign country, in a completely different system than what they are used to. As we were packing their lunches the night before, I said, "I don't think you have a lunch break. I'm not sure how it works. I just put a bunch of food and snacks in your lunch boxes. Watch the other kids and if they eat, you eat too....good luck!" 

After anxiously watching the clock all day, I left early to pick them up not knowing how things work here. The school is in a new location, kind of out of town a couple of miles...you know...in the jungle. It's a dirt road and there is no rhyme nor reason for a pick up line, or how to park, nor is there space for everyone to park or drive. It is a private school, pre-k through high school, so it's not big, but there sure are A LOT of people picking up their kids. Geez.  

After finding a place to put my car, I walked into the swarms of active kiddos in their full after school mode. I saw Odin and Soren and Solvei right away. They were standing together, still alive, but they looked like they had been through the wringer. They smiled a weary smile and then we went off to find Greta. She had been organizing her locker. She looked the same as the other three....tired, hot, sweaty and ready for a nap. The first thing Odin said was, "I like Sibley better". Greta stated, "I am so overwhelmed!" Once we got out to the car, they were pretty talkative. They all had some positive things to say about which teachers they liked, how well they understood the Spanish but also that it was a really hard day. 

Once we got home, they all disappeared until dinner. At dinner, they shared stories of classmates they met from all over the world and how hard gym was in this heat, etc. But all four said that they would rather be back home. At bedtime, everyone was a little touchy. No one was looking forward to going back.

Oh my mama heart! I started doubting myself. We had made this decision for them. This was on us. We took them out of their comfort zone. The kids are missing their friends, the neighborhood, their bikes, Solvei's missing her tennis season - which means the world to her, and they are missing the comfort of home, of the routine, of the known. Eeek. Did we do the right thing?

This morning was rocky. Everyone was tired and on edge.They were not looking forward to another day. We drove to school in silence. I parked and they got out. Greta stayed in the car and with tears in her eyes said, "Mom, I can't do this again." I told her, "Yes you can. You are one of the strongest, bravest people I know." We said a prayer together and she got out and walked down the road to school.

I did NOT know what to do with myself for the day. I had a couple of things that I needed to pick up, I made a meatloaf and put it in the fridge, I cut up a pineapple. I was dreading picking them up because I didn't know what I would do if they were miserable. 

I got to school and put my car in some slot facing the wrong way and walked through the traffic to the school. I first saw Odin talking to a boy about his age, he said right away, "Mom, today was SO much better than yesterday!" I found Soren playing hide and seek and he was quite cheerful. I waited for Solvei and Greta to come down the stairs. They both descended with smiles on their faces. I asked, "How was it?" Solvei said, "Great! SOOO much better." I took a deep, shuttering breath and then my eyes got a little bit wet (as Junie B. Jones would say) and I had to put on my sunglasses. Solvei said, "Mom, are you crying?" Ummmm, maybe.

The ride home was full of stories of getting to be in the play and soccer at recess and new friends and art projects and cursive and music class along with a couple of songs on the recorder...ugh...should that really be homework? But it was joyful banter and I reveled in it.

This journey has been the hardest thing we have ever done. It has exhausted us physically and emotionally every day and we are only 19 days in!! But with that said, we know why we did it. It is my greatest hope that our kids will leave this experience ready to step into the world and be OK with wandering outside of their comfort zone. That they will be resilient when things don't go their way. That they will be thankful for the comforts of home. That they will be open to people and perspectives that challenge their own ideas. 

There are times when it is painful to stand aside and watch them struggle with all the newness and change knowing that that was our choice for them. But that is really what parenthood is, isn't it? Making sure they are ready for the world once they leave us and go out on their own. Choosing what we feel is right for them, even though they would rather take the easy way or the way that is most comfortable or most popular. It's about helping them become who they are meant to be.

We stood in that school today and said, "Gracias" to all of the teachers that have touched our lives. Sra. Casa, Miss Pat and Miss Penny, Gretchen Heil, Alli Otte, Lindsay Downs, Anita Sasse, Katie Linkus, Ashley Baker, Katy Sherman, Kelly Johnson, Laura McManus, April Osterman, Ruben Alvarez, Mr. Howard, Profe Martins, Sra. Taylor, Mary Carpenter Davis and everyone else who had taught my kids....music, phy ed, media, Sunday School...the list is endless. You are truly invaluable and the work you do and the heart you give everyday knows no boundaries. You are planting seeds.  Seeds from which you may never see the fruit, or even the sprout. But someday - whether you know it or not, there will be bountiful fruit that will feed others and will be seeded again through them. We are missing you today but we are using what you taught us and surprised at how much we know because of you!

So, I will continue to fret and I will continue to question myself. I will hope that the days like today outnumber the tough ones. But I will also continue to pray and I will take today's win on a day where relief felt like a little miracle. "This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it". 

Stepping out of your comfort zone can really be frightening and sometimes painful, but as they say, "¡Vale la pena!". (It's worth it!)

Blessings from Mexico,
Tricia

Here's a photo of the outside of the school. It's all open on the inside with palm trees and a playground in the middle.